When something you read, hear, or watch, triggers you in a way that you become defensive, or feel the need to belittle that person or perspective, take an honest look at yourself and ask:
1) why does this trigger me? Is there a little truth in it that regards me, and I feel like I need to defend myself from feeling fearful, ashamed, guilty, or grief?
2) Do I secretly wish I was saying it, doing it, being that which is triggering me?
In order to stop the negative pattern, we must first understand how to feel and release with forgiveness the emotions underneath the automatic reaction to a trigger, so that a positive feeling can emerge.
If your automatic negative reaction is:
Disapproval ->the underlying emotion to be felt and released is-> shame, so that ->innocence can emerge.
Being argumentative -> embarrassed -> humility
Pettiness -> afraid -> happiness
Annoyance ->angry ->peace
Judgement -> frustrated-> patience
Self-care is not just about bubble baths and spa days, it is also about taking care of your emotional and mental health. Develop your mind, develop your heart.
Books to support this - Beyond Mars & Venus and Changing the Habit of Being Yourself.